Author: geoff

Everyone has an expectation meter. I know that I do.

So I’m just putting it out there, but if your expectations are like the meter above, then I’d highly recommend that you dial it back a bit .. or a lot.

If you were to Google “seriously slow news day”, you would probably get a link to today’s post.

Sorry about that.

We stayed out the back of the Westmar Pub and Roadhouse. Free camping with the expectation that you will go into the pub and support them by buying a meal and a drink … all of which cost >$60 and it would have been much cheaper to stay in a caravan park.

C’est la vie.

Despite being on a crossroads in the middle of nowhere, it was surprisingly quiet at night considering all of the trucks. Dark, seriously dark, but quiet.

We pulled up the anchor at about 8.30am and decided that we would head for home. It is about 400km from Westmar to home, and while that is a big day driving, we would otherwise have two really small travel days and it didn’t seem worth stretching it out for one more day when there are so many things we could be doing at home.

So we pulled out onto the Moonie Highway, turned right, and headed off.

As with previous days, the roads were long, straight, bumpy and uneventful. Uneventful to the point of boring. Nothing to see, nothing to do, but sing along to today’s Spotify playlist: Modern Country.

MBW chose it today.

On our last roadtrip, on the last day’s post, I made a comment about going to the Coffee Club at Dalby and having a bad experience.

Guess what?

Same place, same Coffee Club store, and the same bad experience. MBW went into the fabric store next door to browse, and I went to the counter to order coffee.

Me: “Could I have two cappuccinos please?”

Grumpy bum: “What table are you sitting at?”

Me: “I don’t have a table yet” … turning around and pointing … “that one.”

GB: “Well you will need to go and sit at that table so that we can come and serve you. We do table service here”

Me: “Unlike every other Coffee Club that I’ve ever been into?”

GB: “Yes, we are different here”

Me: “Hmmm, OK then. How about I just find somewhere else to buy my coffee”.

Exit stage right.

We had a lovely coffee and pecan pie at Stella Rossa across the street.

Bought a few groceries in Aldi, just to continue our winning streak of daily grocery purchases whether we need it or not, loaded up Elsie and pointed towards Wellington Point.

We saw cotton growing in a field, but that’s about as exciting as it got.

I wish I could say that I dragged someone from a fiery car crash, or delivered a baby at the side of the road, or even helped a little old lady across the street … but none of that would be true.

Probably the most exciting thing that happened was that we changed the Spotify playlist to “One Hit Wonders” … but that’s pretty sad really 🙁

We got home just after lunch, cleaned out Elsie and Percy and I gave Elsie a bath. I’m not going to bore you with the minutiae of the pack down, but it included washing, unpacking, unloading and putting things away.

Boring.

Today we travelled a total of 419km.

So that’s about it!

We travelled a total of 4,690km on the whole trip which – on reflection – was probably a bit too far as it was quite tiring.

The trip was a bit of a Whitman’s Sampler box, and we certainly found a whole bunch of places that we would love to go back and visit again some time, and spend a whole lot more time there.

Thanks for tagging along!

Ciao!

#RoadTripNSW2022

#HomeSafely

A bit of a quieter day today, with a pretty straightforward trip from Lightning Ridge, through Dirranbandi and St George, and onwards to Westmar.

It occurs to me that I may need to be more cautious what I say about some of the places that we see, visit, or pass through. I need to ensure that I don’t say anything derogatory about them.

In yesterday’s post I mentioned a place called “Come By Chance” only to learn from one of the comments that the wife of friends of ours came from “Cumby – as the locals call it.”. I’m glad I didn’t say anything bad, but I kinda wish I’d visited the place now to see what it is like.

It was hot in Lightning Ridge yesterday. So hot that once we set up, I got out of my jeans and put on shorts and my crocs. If you didn’t know that I have a pair of crocs, sorry for disappointing you 🙁 I wore them around the town centre while we were out for a walk, and I didn’t see a single other person wearing crocs.

What does that tell you? Either I am a fashion trend-setter, or … ?

I’m not sure that MBW approves of them either, to be honest. She was with me when I bought them, but sometimes I put them on and she just looks at me, frowns, shakes her head and says “no”.

Last night we spent the night at the Opal Caravan Park in Lightning Ridge. A very nice park with amazing amenities. It looks like a fairly new amenities block with lots of toilets and showers – certainly not the one or two sad and dirty offerings that you see in some parks.

The showers were amazing. Big waterfall shower heads, loads of hot water, a glass screen door so that your stuff doesn’t get all wet while you are in the process of showering, and the shower cubicles were each big enough to fit probably 4 people!

Not that I would necessarily want to share my shower with three others – I like to think of shower-time as “me time”, where I get to solve the big problems of the world.

I did notice that the water feels very soapy. I don’t know how to explain that except to say that you feel a bit slippery afterwards and you feel like you are sliding on the tiles more than you should be. It might be because it is very soft, or maybe it’s bore water. Who knows? I’m sure that someone will enlighten me.

I came out of the shower all red and glowing, and I felt like a new man.

After spending two weeks in the car with MBW I suspect that she may feel like a new man also. Particularly after me wearing my crocs out on the town.

You see all sorts of strange things in caravan parks. There was a van behind us where the tow vehicle (or “tug” as some people like to call it), had the front end up on stands and the bonnet up, with various people standing around and scratching their heads and talking quietly amongst themselves.

Obviously there is a problem. No doubt everyone has an opinion but I expect that nobody really knows what to do next.

I suspect that he may not be going anywhere anytime soon. Personally, I’d be calling the RACQ, or the NRMA. I don’t like getting my hands dirty.

Today was just like most other days that we have had on this trip. Up, breakfast, pack down, connect everything together, and pull out of the caravan park at around 9.00am.

There were two differences today, though.

Firstly it was warm. We started the day at about 17 degrees and by the time we were on the road it was close to 20 degrees. Shorts and T-shirt weather. Beautiful!

Secondly it was overcast (again). Not like it was going to rain – just that we didn’t have blue skies. I think that the blue skies may be a thing of the past as it looks like there may be more rain coming. Bummer.

According to the RACQ website, there is “long-term flooding” on the way from Lightning Ridge to St George, with the biggest problem being near Dirranbandi. I put out a call on UHF40 asking for a road report, but alas I got no response … so we ploughed on regardless.

I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

Sometimes I think that the Spotify gods like to have a laugh at our expense. By the time we had pulled out of Lightning Ridge onto the highway towards Dirranbandi and realised that we hadn’t made a deliberate choice of playlist today, we had lost mobile coverage so we had to sing along to whatever was already set up and playing.

I’d been hoping for something “rock and roll” or “shake, rattle and roll” to suit the quality of the roads, but we had to play the hand we were dealt – Classic Road Trip songs.

I’m OK with that. First song: “9 to 5” (Dolly Parton) which is exactly what we are NOT doing at the moment, then “Shook me all night long” (AC/DC) which is exactly what we ARE doing. Then lots of Jimmy Barnes, Midnight Oil, and other stuff that I like.

More bumpy roads, more rearranging of my internal organs, more of my brain being turned into custard … and then something truly magical happened.

We found Queensland. Right where we left it!!

I’d love to say that the roads were smooth and flat, that the grass was greener, that the air was sweeter, and that the coffee was better … but all that would be untrue.

The roads were better for a short while. The speed limit dropped from 110km/h to 100km/h (which didn’t bother me BTW, as I like to putter along at about 90-95km/h regardless).

Then the roads got bad again. And we started seeing more roadkill, but a variety of roadkill, strangely enough.

A few kangaroos, a fox, an emu, several sheep, and an echidna. We tell ourselves that the animals we like – like echidnas – are not roadkill … they are just resting. Having a little sleep, perhaps.

But I’m pretty sure that those sheep we saw weren’t resting. They had suffered some serious impact with a truck, followed by being run over by all of the trailer’s wheels.

We had a very brief stretch of the legs in Hebel QLD, and then kept motoring on towards Dirranbandi.

If I said that Hebel was nondescript, insignificant, and probably the most lifeless place I’ve ever seen, I wouldn’t be exaggerating. Nobody around, no movement, zip. Kind of what you’d expect a place would be like if aliens had visited the township and abducted everyone.

But then if we consider that aliens are smarter than us, and yet they chose Hebel to abduct everyone, then … they probably made a poor choice.

If you come from Hebel however, then I’m sure that it is vibrant, exciting and a fun place to visit … but I’m just not feeling it, sorry.

Onwards towards Dirranbandi – about another 45 minutes up the road, and just in time for coffee at the Green Frog Cafe.

I could tell you a funny story about a green frog on a toilet seat in Hebel, but then you’d know that I needed to stop and make a comfort stop, and I promised MBW no more talk about bladders, toilet stops, recycled effluent or “code yellows” … so I won’t mention it.

Sorry.

Coffee, stretch, a quick walk up and down the main street, and we were off again to St George – another hour or 100km further up the road.

The roads continued to be narrow and rough, all of which makes it a challenge when you have these big trucks loaded with cotton coming at you at 100km/h.

Into St George and we just did a quick drive through of town because we have been there before, but we needed to get fuel, lunch and travel another 100km or so to tonight’s stop – at Westmar. So we didn’t hang around.

Although to be fair, I’d be delighted to come back to St George and Roma another time when I have more time. Like when I’m retired.

We have noticed an increase in roadtrains now that we are back in Queensland. There were certainly lots of semis in NSW, but in Queensland you see the roadtrains with 3 trailers that are about 53m long, packed with sheep.

We are staying at the Westmar Roadhouse and Pub tonight – a free camping facility behind the roadhouse.

Westmar is the epitome of a ”blink and you’ll miss it” township.

There is something of a moral obligation to buy dinner (or something) from the pub when you stay for free, but let’s just say it would have been cheaper to stay in a caravan park with full water and power hookup, than eating dinner in the pub and having a couple of soda waters. Easily half the price, or even less.

Anyway, you live and learn.

353km today, and I have to say it was an exhausting 353km. Long, straight, bumpy roads with very little traffic and very little to see on the way.

The only real excitement – if you call it that – is when we went down into a dip in the road at one point and Percy obviously thought I was in imminent danger, so he told the ESC to apply the brakes of the van unexpectedly.

Code brown!!

There was also the other excitement of the green frog on the toilet seat in Hebel … but I’m not allowed to mention it.

Tomorrow we keep heading towards home. It’s about 400km, so we may just make a run for it and get back a day early. I get the feeling like I am delaying the inevitable by trying to stay one more night somewhere, and these “free” campsites cost a fortune!

We will see what happens and how we feel in the morning.

It was a bit of a sad day for me today … May 4 is the day that my dad died in 2017. He hated road trips, so he would probably think I’m crazy hauling 2.5 ton of caravan all around the country. But I still miss him, particularly when I see things that I’d like to tell him about.

Ciao

#RoadTripNSW2022

#AlmostHome

#LoveQueensland

#StarWarsDay

You see some strange things when you drive in the country. Yesterday on our drive from Parkes to Coonamble, we passed a dirt turn out area by the side of the highway – you know, the type of place where trucks stop and pull over for a break.

Except there wasn’t a truck parked in it. There was a car and caravan.

Not so unusual either, as it turns out … except that standing at the back of the van was a couple – a man and a woman – with a music stand in front of them holding some sheet music, and they were both playing trumpets.

You look as you drive past, then you look again, then … you shrug your shoulders and keep driving.

That was weird.

We also passed a turnoff to a place called Come By Chance NSW.

Sounds like the type of place that you end up in after you took a wrong turn somewhere, and I imagine that you should prepare yourself for disappointment once you get there.

We stayed at Nakadoo last night, a farm just outside Coonamble where the owners allow travellers like us to pull up for the night at no cost – just a donation.

We got away early this morning. I think we we were on the road by 8.15am and heading towards Lightning Ridge. Another picture perfect morning with blue skies, sun shining, and crisp clean air.

Very little to see on the road – just lots and lots of nothing as far as the eye can see. And flat. Sometimes there are some fields that are plowed, and sometimes it is just grass. Sometimes trees.

Very occasionally you will see a few cows wandering around. But that’s about it.

In fact at some places, there is nothing noteworthy to see in any direction.

I have no idea how much we are paying Brandon for giving us directions, but he is not really earning it at the moment.

Today we only went through one township – Walgett – between leaving Coonamble and arriving at Lightning Ridge, and we only got two peeps out of Brandon all day.

He first piped up as we were approaching Walgett to say ”in 300 metres, go through the roundabout”, and then he went back to sleep. Next we heard from him was as we entered Lightning Ridge and he says ”you have arrived at your destination.”

I’m not sure if that is indicative of how flat and straight and featureless the roads are in country NSW, or if he is just lazy.

We followed the Castlereagh Hwy from Coonamble all the way to Walgett. We were initially lulled into a false sense of security, because the first few kilometres from Coonamble were wide and flat and smooth, but then it degraded again to the rough, bumpy, lumpy NSW country roads that we have had for much of the trip since leaving Nowra, quite some time ago.

The problem is that Elsie is constantly lurching and shuddering and bumping across the surface of the road, but then – a few microseconds later – Percy lurches and shudders through the same bad patch. So you are getting tossed around a second time through the chassis of the car.

It was a somewhere between riding a bucking bronco at a rodeo, and being in the space shuttle as it re-enters Earth’s atmosphere. Almost a sense of “so long as I can just hang on a little longer, we should be OK.”

We got into Walgett around 9.45am and stopped to look at some incredible silo art …

… before doing a couple of laps of the town centre trying to find somewhere to park legally. It seems that Walgett is not a particularly RV Friendly town with no designated RV parking, meaning that we needed to park in a “45 degree only, rear to the kerb” zone, right outside the courthouse and next to the Police Station, as it turned out.

Maybe not the wisest of choices, but our options were limited.

We slipped into our Akubras in an attempt to blend in like locals, and went in search of coffee.

Sadly there are so many shops and businesses closed in Walgett – just like in so many other small towns – no doubt from COVID and drought and floods and all of the other catastrophes that impact small communities all over the country.

We injected $15 into the local economy and got ourselves caffeinated in the process, so I call that a win-win situation.

The road from Walgett to Lightning Ridge got progressively worse.

I mean, it is all sealed and called a “highway”, but at 90km/h (with a speed limit of 110km/h) you are being thrown around so badly that it starts to feel like your internal plumbing is sustaining permanent damage, your organs are being rearranged, your brain starts to turn to custard, your kidneys feel like they are being beaten with a baseball bat, and it places enormous pressure on your bladder … which is never an ideal situation.

I’ve had a sore neck and shoulders for the last week, and I suspect that having my head bouncing around on these roads has likely been the cause.

Interestingly, I’ve heard MBW muttering about a “pain in the neck” quite a bit lately, so I don’t know what that’s about … ?

With a looming “Code Yellow”, we found perhaps the cutest rest stop we have ever seen with really handy dandy instructions for providing light to assist your endeavours if you are using the facilities at night.

What will they think of next? Maybe electricity, or solar powered batteries?

Onwards to Lightning Ridge and we pulled into the Opal Caravan Park around 11.30am, which must be a new world record for an early arrival at tonight’s accommodation.

The caravan park has this post-apocalyptic feeling to it with not a blade of grass to be seen anywhere. It feels just like the Charleville caravan park that we stayed in a couple of years ago.

Despite all of that, it is dead flat and so no jiggery pokery required to get set up. Which means that we have postponed the risk of divorce for another day, and likely eliminated the risk of divorce in NSW entirely!!

Lunch, out of jeans and into shorts as the weather had reached a giddying 27 degrees, and we were off exploring.

Actually that’s not entirely accurate. We spent a bit of time poking and cursing at the fridge that had decided to display a “gas lockout” error regardless of whether it was given its choice of power supply – gas, 240V or 12V – which are all of the possible options available.

We also resigned ourselves to the fact that the washing machine no longer serves its primary purpose – to wash clothes. Dirty clothes go in, nothing productive happens, and dirty clothes come out again 🙁

Now all we need is for the airconditioner or the microwave to stop working and we can claim a win on the trifecta.

Lightning Ridge is a quirky little place.

Very dry, very barren, with that post-apocalyptic theme going through the whole township. It has very much a temporary feel to it, like nobody is staying for a long time so they have no plans to ever fully establish themselves, yet it is very tourist orientated.

The caravan park where we are staying told us that it is “normally $30/night, but because we are busy it’s now $49.35/night”. That’s everything you need to know about supply and demand right there.

The caravan park must have something like 100 sites or cabins, and surprisingly it is mostly full.

One of the things that Lightning Ridge does very well is to give tourists various options for self-guided tours around town. They have 4 possible tours, called the Red Door, the Blue Door, the Yellow Door and the Green Door tour.

Each one has a starting point that is identified with an old car door painted in the colour of the tour, and then as you follow the tour, you look for similarly coloured car doors that have a location number painted on them that align to the instructions you have.

Even dumb Queenslanders like us can figure that out without getting lost.

We did the Blue Door and Red Door tours this afternoon, and saw some interesting and unusual things.

There is also an incredible amount of truely amazing artwork around town, and it appears that most of it was created by a local artist, John Murray.

Our penultimate stop for the day was the artesian bore which is a free facility, just down the road from where we are staying.

The water comes out of the ground at around 40 degrees and is very soothing and relieves those aching muscles, although I also found that it simply drained me of all energy and left me feeling light headed – and that was after only a few minutes in the water.

Home for a nap, and then we headed off for our final adventure for the day – the Green Door tour which is a drive to view the sunset from the highest point in Lightning Ridge … which isn’t particularly high. But still the sunset was magnificent and – as always – the phone camera does nothing to represent or capture how beautiful it was.

So far Lightning Ridge holds the record for the most expensive diesel ($2.13/litre), but fortunately I don’t need any more until we get to St George.

I’ve also been surprised at the lack of roadkill on the roads., On a previous trip to Winton, we were literally swerving to avoid dead kangaroos, but this time we might only see three or four dead animals in 100km … and most of those appear to be foxes.

Tomorrow we head back into Queensland, with the expectation that we will stay in or near St George. Even though there is very little to see in Lightning Ridge and we have likely seen it all already, it has that warm, relaxing feeling about it and it would have been nice to stay for a few days and do nothing but bask in the sun.

Just over 200km today, Certainly no awards for the most distance travelled towing a caravan, but it was a nice relaxing – albeit bumpy – drive. I’m sure that once we cross the border into Queensland, the roads will be paved with gold …

If anyone is speaking with Zach or Maddie, please tell them that now would be a good time to mow the lawn and turn on the dishwasher.

Ciao

#RoadTripNSW2022

#HeadingHomeNow

I suspect that I might be a bit light on for content today, but let’s see what happens. I’m sure that there are some fascinating bowel movement stories that I can weave into the narrative if I need to.

Or not.

I got a bit of a shock this morning. Woke at about 7.00am and looked in the mirror and there was this tired-looking, grey haired old man staring back at me. I’m not sure who he is but I wish that he’d stop hanging around us young folks.

I also wish that he’d get a haircut!

MBW also got a bit of a shock this morning too, although on the “Bit of a shock” to “Code Brown” continuum, it was much closer to the code brown end of the scale.

But there is a whole lot of back story that I need to unravel first, so hopefully once I’ve given you the context I will also remember to tell you the thing that happened.

I also had a bit of a problem today. We woke to a bracing 5 degrees, and the forecast shows us getting up to about 26 degrees today, so that means layering. Just like a Sara Lee pastry.

Hot shower, put on a couple of layers, breakfast, put on some more layers, then outside to get the Percy ready for departure.

Tonight we are staying at a free camp called Nakadoo. The family (the Kennedys) who own the property near Coonamble allow travellers to drop anchor and stay the night for free, although it is the morally responsible thing to do to leave a donation in the tin. So because we are free camping, we needed some water in the tanks.

I put probably 100 litres of water in the tanks (= 100kg) and wound up the legs on the van, then went to get Elsie ready to connect up … and there was this almighty BANG!

MBW had a code brown!

I went around to the front of Percy to find that the jockey wheel had collapsed. When I say “collapsed” I don’t mean broken, I mean that the jockey wheel clamp had let go of the shaft of the jockey wheel, and the drawbar had dropped down onto the jockey wheel.

That’s not ideal 🙁

Anyway, we got it sorted. Used Elsie’s jack to lift up the front of Percy, readjusted and reclamped the jockey wheel, and went from there. Let’s just say I needed to remove a couple of those layers after all of that effort.

First stop for the day was Dubbo.

I’d love to say that we stopped at the Western Plains Zoo to have a look at their giraffe, but after having gone to Zimbabwe a few times and driven through Hwange National Park and seen them running wild, looking at one in captivity doesn’t really float my boat.

We did stop at the Dubbo Cultural Centre to have a look at their museum and gallery – both of which get good reviews and were worth the stop.

We injected $18.50 into the local economy thanks to a couple of coffees and an almond croissant, and then rolled out of town … to Gllgandra.

We arrived in Gilgandra just before 1.00pm, in time for lunch.

One of the things about many of these small country towns is that they realise the economic benefits that travellers can bring, so they call themselves “RV Friendly” towns and provide very convenient caravan parking.

So park we did. And went for a walk through the town centre, and had lunch in the van.

Lunch done, we rolled out of Gilgandra towards our next stop for today – Gulargambone NSW.

Many of these small country towns are very proud of their township and really do cater well to tourists – particularly the grey nomad type of tourist. Clean public toilets, and they go out of their way to do something unusual to encourage people to stop.

Gulargambone has some silo art, sculptures and street art, all of which are worth stopping to look at. Sadly though, all shops that we could see were closed, so there was nowhere to spend money in Gulargambone.

From there it was a relatively short run to Coonamble, home for tonight. Coonamble’s claim to fame is that it has a “Nickname hall of fame” where they showcase some of their famous characters from the town.

And of course more street art and sculptures.

We topped up Elsie, ready for the next leg of the journey towards home. We probably had enough fuel, but there is a risk of road closures and flooding, and I’m not a fan of heading off with half a tank of fuel only to have to turn around and come back again.

I was served by a young Indian lady at the BP service station who seemed particularly bored and disillusioned with life … but then I guess that living in Coonamble could do that to you.

You will notice in the photo above that the NSW Ambulance Service shares the same building as the Funeral Director. I’m not sure if they share the same telephone number, but it doesn’t fill me with confidence.

Which brings me to tonight. We are staying at a free camp called Nakadoo, about 5km outside of Coonamble. The sun has just set and I cannot describe the beautiful colours. Unfortunately my phone camera simply cannot capture the colours and do them justice.

So that’s about it. 291km today with some stops to take in the countryside and culture. Tomorrow we are off towards Lightning Ridge and hopefully the opportunity to submerse ourselves in some artesian spas, which will be nice for our weary bodies.

From there it’s St George, Dalby and home … but I’m not really ready to think about that just yet.

See y’all again tomorrow.

Ciao

#RoadTripNSW2022

#HeadingHomeNow

We experienced something this morning that we have not yet experienced on our trip so far. Blue skies … smiling at me.

A beautiful, clear, sunny Sunday morning in Parkes. Cold, very cold – about 5 degrees – but clear blue skies.

I’ve promised MBW that I’m not going to prattle on about the toilet game any longer, because it is not fair on those of you following along when you can’t play at home. So I promise that this will be the last time.

We had a bit of a conundrum last night. I went to use the toilet last night when I was ready to go to sleep and the light was on. I had a brief discussion with MBW and she assured me that the light was still off after she used it last.

The rules of the game don’t consider this situation – the rules say that the winner is the person who was using it when the light comes on. Houston, we have a problem.

Anyhow, because I found the light on I was declared the winner.

Now there is another problem. When the light comes on just as you are going to bed, it means (in theory, anyway) that you cannot use the loo again until after the cassette is emptied, so you end up lying awake half the night worrying about what will happen if you need to go urgently in the middle of the night.

Which, inevitably, you do. Need to go urgently in the middle of the night that is.

So I drifted off to the land of nod, only to be kicked awake twice for (allegedly) snoring. I then woke in the middle of the night and my bladder was sending urgent messages to my brain, and by the time I found my glasses and found the clock, I discovered it was only 1.00am.

That’s a very long time to hang on.

Bugger. So I had to get up, put on some warm clothes, and stagger over to the amenities block … to then learn that MBW had just gone ahead and used the toilet anyway, despite the “no vacancy” light flashing.

Long story short, this morning after breakfast, I claimed my prize and went to empty the cassette.

The caravan park we are staying in is a quirky little place. It is mostly on-site vans and cabins. As far as I can see it only has room for 2, maybe 3 travelling caravans.

It is called the ”Overnighter Caravan Park”, and we have obviously broken the rules by staying for two nights.

I know that I have digressed from the fascinating toilet light game story to telling you about the caravan park, but I need to digress again for a moment … sorry.

In the pictures above, you will notice that the slab and the wheel tracks for our site are back to front. Any normal caravan site should have the van parked on the wheel tracks on the left (as you stand at the front of the van looking at it) and the awning opens out over the slab. Ours is the other way around, which means that the area under the slab is muddy.

Peter – the guy who runs the park – didn’t understand the problem when we pointed it out – which is a real concern 🙁 But it hasn’t stopped us from enjoying ourselves here at the park anyway, and if that is the biggest problem that we have here in Parkes, it hasn’t been a bad place to stay.

Back to my story.

Not only is this a quirky park, but it also doesn’t have a dump point effluent recycling station, meaning that I needed to go in search of one. I found out that there is a council one about 1.2km away from here.

Just as a side note, if I die unexpectedly and you are looking at my browser history on my phone and you see that I have been looking for “dump point near me”, don’t worry because I’m not weird. It was necessary.

So I loaded the cassette up into the back of Elsie, and off I went. MBW offered to stay at the van and do the breakfast dishes while I was gone.

I was driving very slowly and carefully as I particularly wanted to ensure that there was no leakage or spillage in the back of Elsie. On the way to the dump point effluent recycling station I saw a road sign that said “Please Drive Carefully”. Believe me, I was!

Then I started to worry about what would happen if I was rear-ended by a truck, and that thought was just too horrible to consider.

I decided to take a very circuitous route to the dump point effluent recycling station, just to throw off anyone who may be have been following me. I actually felt like I was off to do some kind of illegal drug deal, or something.

Anyway I found the location I was looking for, did the deed, and then stood around chatting with some like-minded effluent recyclers as we chatted about the weather and our next destinations … like it is a perfectly normal thing to do.

So that was the morning.

Back to Percy, loaded Elsie and we headed off to Forbes.

For those of you who have seen “The Dish”, a number of the scenes were shot in Forbes rather than Parkes, because the buildings are more authentic for that era. There is a website you can use to do a self-guided tour of Forbes and find many of the buildings used in the movie.

Here are some of them.

It was still cold and we needed a hot caffeinated beverage, so we found a cafe – a real one this time – and had coffee and banana bread.

They are all a bit arty-farty in Forbes, with a number of sculptures around town. Some of them are … unusual.

In the one above – if you look really closely – you may notice that the 3 “people” in the sculpture are all anatomically correct, except …. they have the heads of dogs or rabbits. Sorry that photo is a bit crooked BTW – I felt a bit dirty crouching down to take a photo of it and was worried that if the police came along they might have a few questions …

We needed to figure out what to do next.

Option 1: We could head back to Parkes by the direct route and do some domestic chores. Boring!

Option 2: We could head back to Parkes the long way via Condobolin and Bogan Gate. That sounded much more interesting.

MBW wanted to look at a goanna sculpture on the way out of town, so we found it and went for a look.

We then learned that there are a number of other sculptures on the road to Condobolin, so we went investigating. This is what we found …

We also saw some very pretty countryside that we made a feeble attempt to capture.

No I have to be completely honest with you – each one of those sculptures had a note from the creator explaining the thought process that went behind each of them. Things like “recognising our precious resources and how we have to be more sensitive to our world around us so that there are beautiful things still in existence for our children”.

I don’t disagree with the sentiment, but I just have trouble understanding how a girl standing on a cow playing a violin can be interpreted to mean all of that.

We arrived in Condobolin for a late lunch, and saw the last (or first, depending which way you travelled) of the sculptures – this one a series called “Utes in a paddock”.

Now THAT is something that I can understand with my tiny brain!

Time for lunch, so we did a quick drive-through of Condobolin to see the sights.

Condobolin is a typical small country town. Sunday afternoon and everything is closed. You could fire a cannon down the main street and not risk hitting anyone.

MBW used the public toilets in the centre of Condobolin and rated them as “very clean and they smelled nice”. Thumbs up Condobolin! If you are in mid-NSW and need a loo, MBW can recommend Condobolin.

We stopped on the other side of Condobolin for one of our – now famous – tailgate lunches in the shadow of some silos.

When I say “on the other side of Condobolin”, I mean another couple of hundred metres down the road.

From there, it was a straight run back to Parkes. And when I say “a straight run” I’m really not kidding. Pretty much a dead straight road with the usual bumps, potholes, and poor surface that we have been experiencing on many of the NSW back roads.

The only thing of interest on the way home was a small township called Bogan Gate with a population of 200. I’m not sure what the correct name is for people who live Bogan Gate, but I have a working assumption that they are Bogans.

If you have any information that suggests that is incorrect, please let me know.

We weren’t sure how many real live Bogans we would see out and about on a Sunday afternoon, but we saw three of them. That means that there are another 197 Bogans hiding in their homes somewhere, I guess?

Home to Parkes and a quick walk around the town centre.

Parkes has an Elvis thing going on that I don’t quite understand. Their sister city is something like Coventry in the UK, but they have a great deal of Elvis and Memphis stuff happening.

Home to do a few domestic chores, and I went out to fill Elsie ready for the trip tomorrow. We are heading north from Parkes towards a place called Coonamble, and we plan to stop on a working farm a bit north of there.

I can no longer deny the fact that we are heading towards home now, but it’s been fun and I’m ready to go home and cuddle my grandchildren again.

A big looping lazy circle today, with a total of 247km.

See you again tomorrow.

Ciao

#RoadTripNSW2022

#HeadingHomeNow

Rain.

Rain, rain, rain. And more rain.

The rain started at about 3.00am – well, that’s when I woke up and heard it for the first time. I was lying there in bed – 3.00am – and thinking to myself, “I think I left two of the roof hatches open when I went to bed last night to allow some airflow. I wonder if the rain is getting in?”

It was, by the way. Not too bad, just a bit of a puddle on the floor of the bathroom. Nothing too serious.

The Bathurst Royale is on in Bathurst this weekend. It’s like the Royal Bathurst Show, but they call it the ”Bathurst Royale” to make it a bit more special, I assume.

My mother always said I was special too.

Last night we got new neighbours on site 14 at the Blayney Caravan Park. An old(er) English couple. He sort of reminded me of Brandon – or at least what Brandon will be like in another 20 years or so and retired from giving directions.

They are staying for three nights.

Me: “Are you here for the show?”

Old Brandon, beaming from ear to ear and as proud as punch: “No, we are just here for three nights. We’ve never hired one of these before. We thought we’d give it a try.”

More smiles.

“One of these” BTW is one of those delivery van/camper vans things. The ones that are not high enough to stand up in, have a micro-kitchen, no bathroom facilities and a bed. You either sit on the floor, sit on the bed (which is on the floor), or sit in the driver’s seat. Or you lie down. No room to swing a cat.

The only way to sit down and enjoy your surrounds is to put out a table and your comfy camping chairs on the grass, because you have no awning and nowhere else to sit.

Rewind to 3.00am and rain. And more rain.

I’ll bet he’s not smiling now. His chairs are wet and he’s stuck inside that camper van. And it’s raining.

I finally went back to sleep and eventually woke for good at about 7.30am. And it was still raining. And cold.

I thought to myself “this would be a great day for just filling the jacuzzi with steaming hot water and lighting the pot belly stove”.

Sadly, Percy didn’t come with either the jacuzzi or pot belly stove options 🙁

So I spent a few minutes practising gratitude instead: for my wonderful wife; for the fact that we are not stuck in a pokey campervan in the pouring rain; and for the fact that I didn’t die a hideous and premature death yesterday in a cablecar plunging hundreds, maybe thousands of feet into the valley below.

Up, shower, breakfast and then time to pack down the van ready to roll. As per the normal separation of duties, MBW does everything inside the van, and I do everything outside the van. Outside, where it is pouring rain.

I put on a Spotify playlist this morning called “Single Saturday Night” which is heavy on Country music, but we like it anyway. Here is a quick quiz:

Question: What do Country singers sing about?

Answer: Their horse, their dog, their tractor, their gal, and ….. RAIN!

Argh!

Poor Elsie looked a bit forlorn. I expect that Brandon will be in a mood today too.

I have to tell you that for some reason I have had a great deal of trouble spelling the name of the place where we have stayed the last couple of nights. I know that it is spelt correctly in the blog, but every time MBW proofs (and approves) the blog, she points out every occurrence where I have spelt Blayney as Brayley.

I have no idea why. Maybe I’m dyslexic, or maybe I really am as dumb as a box of rocks? Or maybe I’m just still thinking of Brandon.

We were packed and on the road by 9.00am. One of us was dry and warm and toasty and in a good mood, and the other one wasn’t.

We had considered going for a walk up and down the main street of Blayney to see the sights, but the rain convinced us to keep moving onwards towards Orange and then Parkes.

It wasn’t expected to be a long drive, but a preliminary check of the road conditions and we saw the words “minor flooding” enough times to make us nervous.

We drove through the very pretty historic Millthorpe without stopping, and onwards towards Orange.

We rolled into Orange just before 10.00am and the weather was … raining!

We did a couple of laps of the city and a couple of turn-arounds at roundabouts before we saw a “visitor information” sign and followed it to the inevitable caravan parking area. Parked Elsie and Percy, got out our umbrellas, and went for a wander.

In the rain.

I probably had never realised just how progressive Orange is as a town, but they have all of the top fashion shops there, big shopping centres … everything.

We pottered around for an hour or so and decided that we needed a hot caffeinated beverage, and found a Coffee Club. MBW made friends with a 99 year old lady who has lived around Orange all of her life, and her secret to a long live is “drinking coffee”. I’ll probably live to 200!

I think that Orange is one of those places that I’d like to stay a few days and explore some more, but not just now because the weather is cold and I’m still seeing flood warnings – so time to keep moving towards Parkes – home for the next 2 nights.

One thing that I will say though is that they take bad behaviour very, very seriously in Orange. Misbehaviour will not be tolerated!

The other thing that I need to say is that they seem to have some weird people in Orange. I mean, really weird. I’ll even go so far as to say that they have more than their fair share of weird people. Weird looking, weird acting, bad haircuts, dressed in weird clothes. Weird.

Maybe it’s the cold weather, or maybe it’s just evidence of why cousins should never marry … I have no idea but I’m not one to judge!

MBW got to choose the Spotify playlist today. As we were pulling out of Orange with our 2 coffees, she started the playlist and told me I had to guess what it was.

With the toilet light game not likely to identify a winner for another day or so, we have to do what we can to amuse ourselves and stay sane.

I didn’t recognise the first song (which turned out to be “The day the world stood still” by the Australian Boys Choir and featuring Tina Arena), but we were heading to Parkes, Parkes has a giant radio telescope, and they made a movie about it called “The Dish”, so I joined the dots and suggested the soundtrack from “The Dish”. Game over in 15 seconds!

Not as much fun as the toilet light game, but it has potential!

By the time we realised that we were only about an hour away from Parkes and hadn’t actually booked anywhere to stay for a couple of nights, we were in the middle of a black hole where there is no 5G, 4G, 3G … no Gs at all. No Gs means no internet, which means no Googling.

Which also means no ability to call ahead and book something.

We stopped briefly at the next small township called Manildra, which seems to be noteworthy for very little except an enormous flour mill that takes up most of the township.

We stopped, Googled, and made some calls ahead to Parkes.

The first two places we tried were fully booked. Well, that’s not entirely true it turns out – it is probably more accurate to say that they have space if you want to moor a boat, but the options for bringing a caravan into the caravan park and then successfully getting it back out again were very limited.

There was a third park on the WikiCamps app that didn’t get great reviews, but we tried it anyway. The guy who answered the phone (Peter) said “yep, we can sort something out” and encouraged us to come and have a look before we committed to staying there.

I mean, we weren’t buying the place, but he insisted so we told him we’d be there in an hour.

That hour turned into an adventure. Remember the flood warnings? Well, they turned into “water across the road” signs, and then water across the road.

Just a little bit to start with …

… but then the water got deeper and more across the road until we reached a point just outside Parkes that was being attended by two (I assume Council) workers advising drivers to either turn around or drive through carefully, according to the type of vehicle you were driving.

All I can say is that it’s lucky we were not in the Ferrari because we would never have got through!!

We arrived into Parkes at about 12.30 and went straight to the caravan park. We met Peter who came out, introduced himself and greeted us with a firm handshake. You don’t get that sort of country hospitality very often.

He walked us to our proposed site – it wasn’t ideal because it is quite small with no slab – but he gave it to us for $30/night on the ”senior’s rate” and guided us onto the spot.

By the time we got to Parkes the rain had gone, the sky was blue, and a gentle breeze was blowing. We hung out all of our wet towels on the clothesline with a reasonable possibility of getting them dry, for the first time in … forever.

The caravan park seems to be predominantly cabins and on-site vans, and seems to be a home-away-from-home for itinerant workers. As far as I can see there are only 2, maybe 3 caravan spaces for travellers like us.

Set up, connect everything, hot water on, legs down and we had lunch. Put on our new Akubras and got ready to go out exploring.

I notice that I am starting to look a bit untidy. Without the hat I also notice I am getting very grey – probably a result of that near-death experience at Scenic World yesterday.

I’d better sharpen myself up, or MBW will trade me in on a couple of 30 year olds 🙁

We headed out towards the Parkes Radio Telescope to have a look and get our bearings for tomorrow. We watched “The Dish” recently. It is a really good Australian movie and I’ll have to see it again now.

That was about it for the day. We did a quick trip up to the Memorial Hill Lookout to check out the views …

… and we went to Woolies to get some groceries (don’t ask) and home for an early dinner. There was a guy with a dual axle van hooked to his car in the Woolies carpark, and it looked like the suspension on one side had collapsed. The wheels on the passenger side of the van were pointing in different directions, and I imagine that will make it difficult to tow.

I imagine being broken down and immoveable like that will make it tricky for Sunday trading at Woolies too.

Tomorrow we head down to Forbes to do a self-guided tour of some of the shooting locations from the movie (“The Dish”) and look around the town. I’ve heard it is a very authentic and original historic township, and I’ve been wanting to see it for a while now.

Driving country roads is my happy place. Passing drivers with vans all wave, locals treat you like a local, and you get greeted personally with a handshake when you arrive at your location.

Only a piddling 197km or so today, but some of that was through water “up to the top of my gumboots” according to the guy just before Parkes.

It will be nice to go for a spin tomorrow without Percy on the back, and let the horses run free for a change.

Looking forward to another day in country NSW tomorrow.

Ciao

#RoadTripNSW2022